Ray of Light

Lately, I've had an on-again off-again relationship with the Queen of Pop because I felt that she doesn't care anymore. Well, I think I may have been mistaken. On Ellen today she decided to send a message to everyone and to the Gay Community in particular about bullying. At first I thought that her statement was a little behind-the-curve. Then I found out that on November 5 Brandon Bitner, a 14-year old Freshman who had braces and loved music by artists like Madonna, killed himself as a result of gay-related bullying. Icons of the gay community have and obligation, not an option, to speak out, so I was pleased that she took the time to say the following:

Ellen Degeneres: I appreciate that you wanted to speak to this cause here because it is a very important cause to me and I understand for you. So speak to us.

Madonna: Well, I just feel it would be incredible remiss of me to not say something. I’m incredibly disturbed and saddened by the overwhelming number of teen suicides that have been reported lately because of bullying. Suicide in general is disturbing. Teenagers committing suicide is extremely disturbing but to hear that teenagers are taking their lives because they are being bullied in schools and dormitories, what have you, is kind of unfathomable. I know a number of people have spoken out about it but I feel like I need to say something. The gay community has been incredibly supportive of me. I wouldn’t have a career if it weren’t for the gay community…I have a teenage daughter and I have ongoing discussions with her about this topic so I feel like I need to say a few words…

Ellen Degeneres: Were you bullied as a kid? Did you feel different than other people when you were younger?

Madonna: Yes, that’s an understatement. I still feel different. I can totally relate to the idea of feeling isolated and alienated. I was incredibly lonely as a child, as a teenager. I have to say I never felt like I fit in in school. I wasn’t a jock. I wasn’t an intellectual. There was no group that I felt a part of. I just felt like a weirdo…It wasn’t until my ballet teacher who was also gay took me under his wing and introduced me to a community of artists of other unique individuals who told me it was good and okay to be different and brought me to my first gay disco and ironically made me feel I was part of the world and it was okay to be different.

Ellen Degeneres: What do you say to your children, Madonna? You said you started having these conversations when you talk about bullying. What do you say?

Madonna:..We talk a lot about the importance of not judging people who are different. Not judging people who don’t fit into our expected view of what’s cool and what isn’t. Think about it across the board. The concept that we are torturing teenagers because they are gay. It’s kind of like I said earlier. It’s unfathomable. It’s like lynching black people or Hitler exterminating Jews. Sorry if I’m going on a rampage right now but this is America. The land of the free and the home of the brave….

Madonna: I think it would be interesting for everybody to try one simple experiment. If you want to talk about solutions or how can we solve this problem? Try to get through the day each and everyone of us…without gossiping about somebody. Without gossiping about anybody. And not only that. Not even listening to gossip. Walking away from it. Can you imagine what your day would be like? How much more free time you’d have? I also feel like you’d feel about better about yourself…

Pretty good statement. I think there is hope for Madonna. This statement reminds me of the Madonna who used her career to help fight homophobia when many other artists were distancing themselves from gays during the bad old days of the 80s and 90s AIDS crisis. It reminds me of the singer who not only wrote songs like "In This Life" and "Why's It So Hard" to commiserate with the victims of homophobia in all its guises, but also "Deeper and Deeper" to remind people of the joys of living an out gay lifestyle.

I must say as probably the most visible gay icon, she is long overdue. But then again this whole dialogue about bullying was long overdue.

Natural Selection

The "unnatural" argument against homosexuality is truly the cleverest of all the stupid points raised by anti-gay forces. I believe it is so clever because the argument really summarizes homophobia at a very visceral level: we hate you because you are not like us.

To a person who does not really analyze his or her culture, homosexuality may actually seem unnatural. There is even a twisted logic to the argument. They say Men and woman are biologically complimentary, therefore heterosexuality is proper. They also make the claim that most people are heterosexual, so then it must be nature's norm. Finally, they point to Western Culture and how it has been built around Judeo-Christian values, the traditional family unit and a basic definition of a given individual that is inherently based on the man/woman divide. You are given a name at birth, and it is either intended to be masculine or feminine. In short, being heterosexual is just expected.

So if a person is not heterosexual, then he or she is falling short of traditional cultural expectations and is not following the natural order of things. But when a person really thinks critically of what constitutes the natural, this mentality should rapidly fall apart.

After all human behavior is not unchanging. By which standard to you measure a lifestyle in order to call it "natural"? A life of mansions and plastic surgery must surely be as unnatural to a nomad as a life of collapsible huts and fur skins would be to an heiress. they have different lifestyle standards. Or are both of their lives equally natural, as any anthropologist would claim?
Is the meat heavy diet of the paleolithic hunter-gather unnatural, or is the neolithic farmer, with his diet of mostly grains, truly representative of the natural human diet? Which invention is more natural, the Ipod or the hammer, and which paint colors are closer to nature, pink shades or earth tones?

Since there is not one universal measurement, when we start to pick and choose which aspects of human life to consider natural, we can easily start sounding absurd.

Some people actually believe that nature itself is that one universal standard. They go to great lengths, and spend a considerable amount of money, on trying to prove that homosexuality does not exist in the animal (even insect!) kingdom. Well it doesn't. How could it when the very word itself describes a group of human beings? However, Same-sex behavior is recorded among animals and yes, insects too (Still, these cases are purely in terms of mating because life forms obviously can't experience true love, a human emotion). In any case, nature is value-neutral and should never become the standard by which human beings judge others. After all, there is no constitution, or Bible for that matter, in the middle of the jungle.

And besides, why would human beings want to restrict themselves to behaving in ways that are defined by arbitrary social or biological norms. Isn't the sentient ability to overcome the confines of our environment and become more than the sum of our parts what really makes us human in the first place? Our very ability to grow to be more seems to be in our nature.

Tax, Spend, Arm

Two choices are for certain if America is to effectively combat its debt and spending. First we are going to have to up the retirement age. obviously no one wants to do this, but what's a viable alternative? The second is large military cuts.

We will bankrupt ourselves if we continue down our present course. But why do we have to make so many cuts to our social programs when we have such an extravagant war machine?

The real question is how will our military respond to the proposed cuts if they can't even handle civilians telling them to end Don't Ask Don't Tell?

Gay Conservatives

While they are undoubtedly misguided, there is undeniable value of out gay and lesbian conservative organizations within the larger gay movement.

Openly gay conservatives support the Republicans' agenda and stand against the Democratic platform both financially and through volunteering. The two largest of these organizations are GOProud and Log Cabin Republicans, and these groups' raison d'etre is fundamentally subordinating civil equality to signature conservative stances such as limited government, individual liberty and national defense.

Recently, at a gay conservative fundraiser for GOProud, the audience posed tough questions for Ann Coulter over gay rights. The organization was, well, Proud to have her as their special guest and even deemed her "the Judy Garland of the Right" (not 100% sure who should be insulted by that title).

Does the existence of these organizations hurt or actually help the LGBTQ Movement?

They clearly provide a much different political outlet for some in the Gay Community, and that can be a very good change. The more the public sees how diverse gays and lesbians really are, the more they will see their sexuality as just another facet of their lives, rather than the defining facet. The staunch Republican working with the gay conservative on a common ground issue such as advancing the idea of limited government would presumably realize that gays are not necessarily political enemies.

Also, through cooperation on a campaign, they may even learn to see homosexuality for what it truly is: a healthy expression of the human experience. Therefore, organizations like GOProud are uniquely positioned to reach out to a significant part of the American population that other gay groups cannot.

On the other hand, the diversification of political expressions for gays and lesbian that these groups represent can be a weakness. The damage to the Gay Community caused by infighting over the status of gay conservative groups is self-evident. A political and social movement fighting amongst themselves severely weakens their effectiveness. The presence of gay conservative groups, as well as their vocal detractors within the Gay Community, compromises the overall goal of equality.

The divergent activities of gay conservatives and the mainstream gay-rights movement also undermines the bigger picture. How much longer will the battle for equal rights take when GOProud donated and volunteered for John McCain while more mainstream gay political action groups did the same for Barack Obama? True, both candidates were against gay marraige but politcal groups of the Gay Community would have more of an impact on politicians if they all worked together on one candidate. Since gays and lesbians are s minority group, it is only logical that they pool their resources together in order to have the maximize impact in politics.

To many within the Gay Community, civil rights trump all other issues. It is not that gays are single-issue voters but rather the suffering they have to endure as a direct result of inequality comes before any other political concern. Civil rights becomes the trump card when voting, and this is why many are enraged by gay conservatives. In some cases, they are considered worse than ordinary conservatives because they are perceived as betrayers of their own kind.

Yet groups like GOProud and Log Cabin Republicans are not the Judases of the Gay Community. They have decided, like countless other political groups throughout history, that the integrity of the State comes before civil rights. To them, this integrity means limiting government and maintaining an overwhelmingly strong defense. Their position is not unique and their political positions fall within reason. Indeed in terms of history, the position of mainstream gays are the true anomalies. Conservative gays are not suffering from internalized homophobia, they are simply expressing their beliefs. While they can, and frankly must, vehemently disagree, the mainstream gay political groups must also treat gay conservatives as equals.

Under pain of disunity, this basic divide must some how be bridged by all within the Gay Community. A reasonable, realistic perspective is absolutely urgent. Mainstream gays must accept the existence and legitimacy of gay conservatives and work within this reality. Many conservative gays have ample time and money that can be used to advance equality, and all of them have valid viewpoints so long as they do not directly advocate inequality. However, the conservative gay groups must stop supporting candidates that are overtly anti-equality such as John McCain.

In order for real change to occur, the Gay Community as a whole must stop advocating for one party over the other and advocate for individual candidates that support gay rights. If mainstream gay political groups expect to work with gay conservatives, then they must compromise. As a result, more candidates could become more conducive towards equality. If enough do, then the party platforms will follow. Gay conservative groups are certainly legitimate, if misguided. In this modern age, there still should be enough room for the whole Gay Community to work together, and if there isn't then they need to learn to change. I hope our society will come to a time when both parties are for full civil rights and the Gay Community has the luxury of dividing itself over economic and national defense matters.

Snuffed.

Seth Walsh was 13. He was incessantly taunted by his peers for being perceived as gay. He went to his backyard. He hung himself from a tree. Yet the rope didn't snap his neck. Instead, the noose strangled him. But slowly. His lips turned blue. His body produced one last adrenaline rush. So he involuntarily struggled against the noose. His legs twisted wildly. He gasped. Often in these cases fear and reflex causes them to vomit. Eventually he went limp. His body was tortuously deprived of oxygen. He slipped into a coma. Nine days later, he died. During the police interrogation, his tormentors broke down in tears. They said they wished they had stopped.

Walsh's family does not wish to place blame, but rather focus on promoting tolerance and understanding. As a grieving family, they have every right to react in the way that best gives them some solace. However, there is much blame to be cast, and frankly those responsible more than deserve to be exposed.

Here are the people who are responsible for Walsh's death and thousands of other LGBT youth:

1) The monster who promotes and maintains a culture of homophobia. This person wishes that gays would deny who they are and not assert their civil rights. He or she fights them in the public arena with the ultimate goal of re-closeting. He or she calls them faggots. Sometimes he or she is more clever and uses phrases such as 'disordered,' 'sinful,' 'unnatural' and 'perverted.' He or she is religious, but dirties the concept of god through such intolerance.

2) The bigoted peer who uses the word 'gay' as an insult and teases the gay or perceived to be gay kid. It is true that this person is a child and does not fully understand the potential consequences of she or her actions. However, it is the careless taunting and bullying without regard to the consequences that is the problem with this person. Thoughtlessly throwing around words or actions have real consequences.

3) This bigot can be the straight parent who just doesn't care enough, or the straight friend who refuses to take that critical jump to acceptance. While not exactly as bad as bigot of #2 or the monster of #1, this person is clearly uncomfortable with gays and lesbians and shows it. Sometimes the things left unsaid can be most hurtful to an LGBT teenager.

4) The people who side with neither tolerance nor intolerance. They do not actively join the taunting, but they allow the bullying to continue unchallenged. These individuals are only slightly less contemptible than the previous type.

5) The Gay individual who does not try to make life easier for his or her kind. This person does not vote and does not call elected officials. He or she does not attend civil rights events. This person in fact does not contribute to the struggle for justice in any way either physically or financially. He or she does want the cycle of homophobia to be broken across the country, yet does nothing to contribute. This person should know better.

There is plenty of blame to go around. When a LGBT youth kills him or herself due to homophobia is a domestic travesty of the highest magnitude.

The Trevor Project is the best outreach organization for this topic, but unfortunately, it is still not enough. If there was greater cooperation between individuals in Tehachapi, California, to stamp out bullying and provide genuine mentors, perhaps Seth Walsh would be alive today.