Ray of Light

Lately, I've had an on-again off-again relationship with the Queen of Pop because I felt that she doesn't care anymore. Well, I think I may have been mistaken. On Ellen today she decided to send a message to everyone and to the Gay Community in particular about bullying. At first I thought that her statement was a little behind-the-curve. Then I found out that on November 5 Brandon Bitner, a 14-year old Freshman who had braces and loved music by artists like Madonna, killed himself as a result of gay-related bullying. Icons of the gay community have and obligation, not an option, to speak out, so I was pleased that she took the time to say the following:

Ellen Degeneres: I appreciate that you wanted to speak to this cause here because it is a very important cause to me and I understand for you. So speak to us.

Madonna: Well, I just feel it would be incredible remiss of me to not say something. I’m incredibly disturbed and saddened by the overwhelming number of teen suicides that have been reported lately because of bullying. Suicide in general is disturbing. Teenagers committing suicide is extremely disturbing but to hear that teenagers are taking their lives because they are being bullied in schools and dormitories, what have you, is kind of unfathomable. I know a number of people have spoken out about it but I feel like I need to say something. The gay community has been incredibly supportive of me. I wouldn’t have a career if it weren’t for the gay community…I have a teenage daughter and I have ongoing discussions with her about this topic so I feel like I need to say a few words…

Ellen Degeneres: Were you bullied as a kid? Did you feel different than other people when you were younger?

Madonna: Yes, that’s an understatement. I still feel different. I can totally relate to the idea of feeling isolated and alienated. I was incredibly lonely as a child, as a teenager. I have to say I never felt like I fit in in school. I wasn’t a jock. I wasn’t an intellectual. There was no group that I felt a part of. I just felt like a weirdo…It wasn’t until my ballet teacher who was also gay took me under his wing and introduced me to a community of artists of other unique individuals who told me it was good and okay to be different and brought me to my first gay disco and ironically made me feel I was part of the world and it was okay to be different.

Ellen Degeneres: What do you say to your children, Madonna? You said you started having these conversations when you talk about bullying. What do you say?

Madonna:..We talk a lot about the importance of not judging people who are different. Not judging people who don’t fit into our expected view of what’s cool and what isn’t. Think about it across the board. The concept that we are torturing teenagers because they are gay. It’s kind of like I said earlier. It’s unfathomable. It’s like lynching black people or Hitler exterminating Jews. Sorry if I’m going on a rampage right now but this is America. The land of the free and the home of the brave….

Madonna: I think it would be interesting for everybody to try one simple experiment. If you want to talk about solutions or how can we solve this problem? Try to get through the day each and everyone of us…without gossiping about somebody. Without gossiping about anybody. And not only that. Not even listening to gossip. Walking away from it. Can you imagine what your day would be like? How much more free time you’d have? I also feel like you’d feel about better about yourself…

Pretty good statement. I think there is hope for Madonna. This statement reminds me of the Madonna who used her career to help fight homophobia when many other artists were distancing themselves from gays during the bad old days of the 80s and 90s AIDS crisis. It reminds me of the singer who not only wrote songs like "In This Life" and "Why's It So Hard" to commiserate with the victims of homophobia in all its guises, but also "Deeper and Deeper" to remind people of the joys of living an out gay lifestyle.

I must say as probably the most visible gay icon, she is long overdue. But then again this whole dialogue about bullying was long overdue.

Snuffed.

Seth Walsh was 13. He was incessantly taunted by his peers for being perceived as gay. He went to his backyard. He hung himself from a tree. Yet the rope didn't snap his neck. Instead, the noose strangled him. But slowly. His lips turned blue. His body produced one last adrenaline rush. So he involuntarily struggled against the noose. His legs twisted wildly. He gasped. Often in these cases fear and reflex causes them to vomit. Eventually he went limp. His body was tortuously deprived of oxygen. He slipped into a coma. Nine days later, he died. During the police interrogation, his tormentors broke down in tears. They said they wished they had stopped.

Walsh's family does not wish to place blame, but rather focus on promoting tolerance and understanding. As a grieving family, they have every right to react in the way that best gives them some solace. However, there is much blame to be cast, and frankly those responsible more than deserve to be exposed.

Here are the people who are responsible for Walsh's death and thousands of other LGBT youth:

1) The monster who promotes and maintains a culture of homophobia. This person wishes that gays would deny who they are and not assert their civil rights. He or she fights them in the public arena with the ultimate goal of re-closeting. He or she calls them faggots. Sometimes he or she is more clever and uses phrases such as 'disordered,' 'sinful,' 'unnatural' and 'perverted.' He or she is religious, but dirties the concept of god through such intolerance.

2) The bigoted peer who uses the word 'gay' as an insult and teases the gay or perceived to be gay kid. It is true that this person is a child and does not fully understand the potential consequences of she or her actions. However, it is the careless taunting and bullying without regard to the consequences that is the problem with this person. Thoughtlessly throwing around words or actions have real consequences.

3) This bigot can be the straight parent who just doesn't care enough, or the straight friend who refuses to take that critical jump to acceptance. While not exactly as bad as bigot of #2 or the monster of #1, this person is clearly uncomfortable with gays and lesbians and shows it. Sometimes the things left unsaid can be most hurtful to an LGBT teenager.

4) The people who side with neither tolerance nor intolerance. They do not actively join the taunting, but they allow the bullying to continue unchallenged. These individuals are only slightly less contemptible than the previous type.

5) The Gay individual who does not try to make life easier for his or her kind. This person does not vote and does not call elected officials. He or she does not attend civil rights events. This person in fact does not contribute to the struggle for justice in any way either physically or financially. He or she does want the cycle of homophobia to be broken across the country, yet does nothing to contribute. This person should know better.

There is plenty of blame to go around. When a LGBT youth kills him or herself due to homophobia is a domestic travesty of the highest magnitude.

The Trevor Project is the best outreach organization for this topic, but unfortunately, it is still not enough. If there was greater cooperation between individuals in Tehachapi, California, to stamp out bullying and provide genuine mentors, perhaps Seth Walsh would be alive today.

"Ground Zero Mosque"

A New York City panel is set to vote on the status of the 9/11 site on Tuesday. This vote should only be based on the need preserve the city’s heritage because there are indeed historic buildings in the area. The vote should unite people through common historical remembrance, not divide.

But it is dividing because the real reason behind the vote has more to do with the possibility of a mosque and Islamic center being constructed two blocks north of Ground Zero (the commission in charge of the vote says otherwise, of course, but the public understanding of this has realistically changed the meaning of the vote). If the panel grants the 9/11 site “landmark status,” then the buildings currently occupying the site cannot be torn down, effectively killing the plans to build the new Islamic Center.

The opposition to this proposed construction has taken a disturbing turn. Sarah Palin herself tweeted, "Peace-seeking Muslims, pls understand, Ground Zero mosque is UNNECESSARY provocation; it stabs hearts. Pls reject it in interest of healing." Her sentiment is echoed by many conservatives. Not only are they completely misunderstanding Islam (again), they are twisting an established legal procedure in order to infringe upon the rights of a minority group (again)-in this case preventing Muslims from freely and publicly expressing their faith.

How does building a Mosque, a house of worship, amount to stabbing hearts? Islamic fundamentalists attacked our nation on 9/11, not mainstream Muslims. It is only logical to make a clear distinction between those who practice the generally accepted tenants of a religion from the lunatic fringe since they are so unlike one another. Now, building an Islamic Fundamentalist Mosque would rightly cause victims more pain, but there is a difference between fundamentalists and mainstream adherence in any faith-a big one. These opponents are letting their perceptions of Islamic Fundamentalism color their entire opinion of Islam in general. Is it okay to treat Christianity in this manner as well?

Mainstream Muslims are exactly the people who are trying to build this mosque. Oz Sultan of the Cordoba Initiative, the Islamic group behind the building proposal notes that the Muslims organizing this initiative are “committed to promoting positive interaction between the Muslim world and the West.” This statement is clearly not what Palin describes as “UNNECESSARY provocation,” but her words are clearly so. While those like Palin are using divisive rhetoric, the victims of their rhetoric instead respond with unifying language. That should say it all, but the bigoted have more supporters in surprising places.

The Anti-Defamation League, a group that fights Antisemitism and bigotry in general, would like the Muslims to build their mosque further away from Ground Zero because “building an Islamic Center in the shadow of the World Trade Center will cause some victims more pain - unnecessarily - and that is not right.” Strange statement coming from an anti-defamation organization.

The result of all this is very unnerving and insidious; the calls to prevent the center from being built will no doubt influence members of the panel. If this “landmark” vote is used to prevent Muslims from freely and openly expressing their religion in public, once again New York will prove that it still doesn’t quite get it. It’s a shame that the opponents can’t recall a time when Americans opposed the construction of too many Jewish and Mormon Temples or Catholic Churches.